I have been putting together the timetable of events for my new book (in my books, almost all the events actually happened). At that time (2006-10) I kept an online Caringbridge diary where I recorded everything. As things neared the end, I wrote more and more - out of desperation, including poems, something I have never written before. Reading it back now, I wonder how I could actually write it, it is so vivid.

On Feb 5 2010, three weeks after Nathaniel's death, I wrote "Some people have been telling me that this journal is such a good read I should turn it into a book. Nathaniel was the youngest grandson of one of Australia's premier authors so it would be reasonable. In fact I’ve been thinking of it for a while as a possible means of raising research money - but what I had been hoping for was the inspirational ending where Nathaniel graduates from med school or gets elected to the legislature. Maybe its now too grim for the public." 

And 16 years later, maybe it still is - we'll see.